A Ubiquitous Theme
This theme is everywhere: in our lives, in other people’s lives, and in relationships with children and parents — it’s constant.
Sometimes I catch myself wanting to give in to emotion and do something rash or spiteful — something forbidden to someone, or even experiment with my own life. Then you wait to see what comes of it. And something always does; it’s the law of life, the boomerang effect.
Sometimes Sasha does something outrageous, and I think: I could forgive her, but that won’t teach her anything. So with my child I try not to scold or hit; instead I let her feel the consequences. For example, if something she does really bothers me, I might get upset and not talk to her for a while so she learns to apologize and understands what hurts other people. After all, it’s not good to forgive everything. I believe you can forgive, but forgiveness should come with the understanding that to be forgiven, a person must do something to make amends—not just say, “Sorry” and move on. This is especially important with children from a very young age. Children are very perceptive; they sense when adults let them get away with everything. A child senses that permissiveness and impunity won’t lead to anything good.
But in our own lives it gets trickier. We’re no longer children; there is no one left to educate or punish us. As grownups we only get metaphorical hits over the head — and then an avalanche of grievances and mutual accusations begins. At that point it’s hard to untangle who is right and who is wrong because we start transferring our feelings onto other issues.
Faith is often the only thing that holds us back from misdeeds and mudslinging. After all, in God’s eyes we are all children—every one of us. Who are we to hurt another person, to inflict pain while elevating ourselves with the words, “But that’s not me — that’s someone else”? It is shameful to see how low a person can sink.
Lord — Beloved Father, forgive me. Forgive me first and foremost.
