When we think of , we stereotypically picture an arrogant, boastful person—probably a man—who talks too much in meetings and constantly posts online.
Although men generally show narcissistic traits more often, women can be narcissistic too — they just express it differently.
“The characteristics we usually associate with narcissism — grandiosity, self-confidence, dominance — traditionally map onto men. However, vulnerable narcissistic traits overlap with feminine qualities, namely high levels of neuroticism and emotional instability,” said Ava Green, a lecturer in forensic psychology at St George’s, University of London and an expert on female narcissism, in an interview with BBC Science Focus.
Grandiose vs. vulnerable narcissism: what’s the difference
Only about 1–2 percent of the population suffer from full-blown narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). At the same time, most of us have some . That’s healthy when it’s normal self-esteem. But when those traits harden, become extreme, and start harming the people around them, they push a personality into dangerous territory.
Psychologists typically distinguish two types of narcissism: grandiose and vulnerable. Grandiose narcissism is the one we encounter most often. People of this type:
- appear outwardly confident,
- seek high status,
- are arrogant,
- and are often charismatic.
Key features of vulnerable narcissism include:
- insecurity,
- heightened emotional sensitivity,
- anxiety,
- and a hidden sense of being exceptional.
Both types share an “antagonistic core” marked by:
- a belief in one’s own importance,
- a willingness to exploit others,
- and fragile self-esteem that handles criticism poorly.
“I usually tell my students that the best way to assess someone’s level of narcissism is to subject them to criticism,” Green said. An excessive, sharp reaction to criticism — especially bursts of anger, sulking, or ignoring someone — can be a key sign of narcissism.
“The more inflated and unstable your self‑esteem is, the more unhealthy and extreme your reaction will be to any threat to how you see yourself.” Ava Green.
Women can be narcissists too — they just show it differently
Vulnerable narcissism is often overlooked or misdiagnosed. Seventy-five percent of people diagnosed with NPD are men. That means many narcissistic women likely go unnoticed. Meanwhile, they express the condition “more subtly and covertly,” Green says.
Her research challenges the stereotype that narcissistic women are less dangerous than men. On the contrary: women’s vulnerable narcissism is strongly linked to psychological, physical, and even sexual aggression toward partners.
The methods women use to pursue their narcissistic goals are often shaped by gender roles. That can make it harder for police and doctors to resolve certain situations and to identify narcissistic personality disorder, the expert warns.
“It’s known that narcissistic women use children or their sexuality as weapons to gain power and control.” Ava Green.
In other words, female narcissism can be extremely destructive. It can cause as much harm as male narcissism; women just tend to rely on more manipulative tactics.
According to the researcher, narcissists of both sexes aim to create a fantasy image of themselves, and they will use any tools to achieve that.
“Narcissists wear a mask, and when it slips, it becomes clear how insecure, vulnerable, and sensitive they really are,” Green added.
Can narcissism be treated?
The scientist says, “Narcissistic patients are very difficult to work with.” They may take offense at the clinician over the diagnosis, the prescribed treatment, or how the treatment is carried out.
That said, treatment isn’t hopeless. The main goal isn’t to “cure” the personality disorder so much as to help people manage the condition’s symptoms and develop better emotional regulation.
Photo: Openverse
