Carlos Solis
People have many ways to show someone they like them. Linguists group those strategies into six categories.
Linguists at the University of Augsburg in Germany studied flirting tactics by analyzing situations from the TV show “Love Is Blind.” In the show, participants go on dates separated by a wall, so they can’t see each other.
The team said linguistics hasn’t yet produced a thorough analysis of how flirting works.
They analyzed 140,000 lines of dialogue from the show and found six verbal strategies for expressing sexual or romantic interest.
They detailed the findings in the Journal of Pragmatics. So, what are the tactics?
Imagining a Future Together
People who flirt often use the ‘imagined future’ tactic — playfully building shared plans or creating hypothetical scenarios.
People who favor this style typically say things like, “If we went on a date, I’d treat you to sushi.”
This approach creates excitement around possible futures instead of making a concrete plan.
Still, the imagined-future tactic helps establish emotional closeness quickly, even without visual contact.
Meta-Flirting: Talking About the Flirt
This style involves talking about the flirting as it happens or using words that call attention to it.
For example, you might hear, “Look at us flirting.” That line makes the interest overt rather than hidden.
Self-Promotion
Self-promotion means presenting yourself to the person you’re interested in.
In conversation, someone who self-promotes advertises achievements to raise their perceived value and to invite compliments.
Humor
Participants on the dating reality show used different kinds of humor — self-deprecation, teasing, jokes, and more.
A benefit of this tactic is that it lets you gauge someone’s sense of humor, which matters for future relationships.
Humor remains the “gold standard” because it reduces tension and signals intelligence.
Sexual Innuendo
Linguists say this tactic steers conversations into sexual territory.
Ambiguous, risqué lines can pop up even when people are talking about mundane tasks.
The researchers found that men use sexual innuendo twice as often as women.
Compliments
Positive statements about someone you like are very popular on dates.
These lines are often sexualized too. For example: “You have such a sensual voice.”
Because of their sexual subtext, compliments can read as flirting and can push a relationship toward greater intimacy.
Finally, the team found that men and women use these tactics at different rates, but every tactic appears in both repertoires.
Photo: Love Is Blind
