Maybe you’ve long convinced yourself you absolutely hate small talk — those empty, “about nothing” conversations. But a new study from the University of Michigan says this boring chatter can actually be good for you. What’s more, you often enjoy it even if you deny it.
The scientists argue that by avoiding potentially boring conversations, people miss opportunities to boost their mood and gain health benefits from social interaction.
What researchers learned about small talk
The team recruited 1,800 volunteers who took part in a series of experiments on casual socializing. First, participants predicted how much they’d enjoy discussing topics they found uninteresting. Topics included the stock market, vegan diets, Pokémon, onions, and so on.
Short conversations between volunteers and either strangers or friends took place both online and in person. Afterwards, participants reported how much they enjoyed those chats.
An article published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology on the APA PsycNet portal reports that volunteers consistently found the conversations more pleasant than they had expected — even when they had initially said the topic was boring.
“Many people, myself included, avoid small talk, fear networking events, and assume topics like the weather, the commute, or our everyday lives aren’t interesting. But people underestimate these conversations,” said Elizabeth Trinh, lead author of the study.
Why small talk feels better than you expect
The researchers suggest that this surprise pleasure happens because people base their expectations on static features of a conversation — like the topic or the other person — rather than on dynamic features, namely the actual flow of the conversation.
However, Elizabeth Trinh says the far more important things in these chats are:
- engagement
- a sense of connection
- feeling heard
- noticing similarities with the other person
- a chance to learn details about the other person’s life
- an opportunity to share your own thoughts
Trinh insists that we often miss chances to make pleasant connections because we misjudge how the interaction will feel.
“We avoid talking with a coworker by the coffee machine, with a stranger at an event, or with a neighbor in the elevator. I think people should rethink whether a conversation is valuable for them,” she says. “To do that, first reframe the goal of the chat. We usually ask ourselves, ‘Will I enjoy this?’ Instead, think, ‘What will I learn?'”
But there’s a limit. The researchers emphatically do not recommend constantly engaging in conversations you personally deem boring. After all, as Trinh says, “the benefits are not endless.”
What experts say about the study
Nicholas Epley, professor of behavioral science at the University of Chicago and author of the book Hello: The Unexpected Power of Choosing to Connect, said, “Knowing how a conversation might start doesn’t mean you know how it will end, and the conversation process itself often leads to a much more interesting outcome.”
He believes these results clearly show that fear of a boring conversation shouldn’t stop you from starting one.
“After all, if a conversation becomes boring, you have an amazing opportunity to make it better!” said Professor Nicholas Epley.
Meanwhile Bruce Good, professor of developmental psychology at the University of Bristol, called the new work “a substantive addition to prior research on human biases about social interaction.”
He thinks people are reluctant to engage, especially when society and circumstances don’t encourage engagement. This is one reason why, when traveling on public transport, passengers usually turn to their gadgets and avoid casual chats. But, as Professor Good noted, people readily start conversations when their routine is suddenly disrupted, “forcing them out of autopilot.”
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