Dating apps and websites are often criticized for prioritizing wealth and looks while sidelining traits like warmth and intelligence.
Researchers at the University of São Paulo wanted to know whether money and beauty are really the most valued traits in future partners. Their results were surprising.
How the Study Was Conducted
The team recruited 778 cisgender participants ages 18 to 64. Participants were asked to assign scores to various traits that would define an ideal partner, including physical attractiveness, socio-economic status, health, kindness, and intelligence.
Cisgender refers to individuals whose gender identity aligns with their biological sex.
The researchers set up three different scoring “budgets”: low, medium, and high. Depending on the scenario, participants had to allocate points among the traits with varying degrees of generosity, as reported by ScienceAlert. For example, the lowest “budget” forced the toughest trade-offs because there weren’t enough points to go around.
Across all three scenarios, kindness and intelligence emerged as the top priorities for people seeking stable, long-term relationships, regardless of age, gender, or sexual orientation. As participants’ own wealth increased, they became more willing to trade off other traits in favor of intelligence and kindness. Men tended to give more points to physical appearance, while people who were themselves more attractive or had higher socio-economic status placed less emphasis on physical attractiveness and socio-economic status in potential partners.
Lead author João Francisco Goes Braga Takayanagi says socio-economic status turned out to be a low priority for all groups, including heterosexual women.
Some researchers not involved in the study caution that it has limitations: it only included volunteers from a single region, so partner preferences might differ across cultures.
Still, the authors advised people seeking long-term relationships to “work on their intellect and personal qualities.” The team says intelligence and kindness remain core values across sexual orientations and genders.
The study offers hope that people genuinely searching for long-term partners value emotional warmth and intellect above other factors.
The findings were published in the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior.
