Most people assume couples who live together should share a bed at night. But medical professionals say that’s not always the case.
Researchers are paying more attention not just to the benefits of sleeping together but also to the potential downsides for partners’ well-being.
A Hormone for Marital Longevity
Sharing a bed with a loved one has several possible benefits. One of the biggest is a rise in oxytocin levels.
Physical touch triggers production of this hormone. When people touch, the contact helps release oxytocin.
Oxytocin, often called the love hormone, brings a range of positive effects. It helps partners feel relaxed and close—something many experts link to long, happy relationships.
Teresa Schnorbach, a sleep specialist at The Sleep Company, supports the benefits of sleeping in the same bed. Cuddling can be restorative for partners, she says. Schnorbach points to studies showing that sleeping next to a partner often improves sleep quality.
Sleep and Sex
Another clear benefit of sharing a bed is sex, which can help people relax, fall asleep, and get better-quality sleep, Schnorbach adds.
One major cause of poor sleep is elevated cortisol, the stress hormone. Sex helps lower stress and boosts oxytocin, the Independent reports.
Orgasm also increases prolactin, a hormone that contributes to falling asleep more quickly.
Still, researchers say the benefits of sleeping together aren’t universal.
When Night Turns into a Nightmare
Several things are essential for good sleep. You need “darkness, coolness, and quiet,” Dr. Zoe Gotts, a consultant psychologist at the London Sleep Centre, notes.
Sharing a bed doesn’t always provide those conditions. If one partner snores, tosses and turns, or the bed is too hot or uncomfortable, sleeping together can harm well-being.
Schnorbach agrees. Frequent nighttime awakenings disrupt the normal movement between sleep stages and can be damaging to health. When one partner sleeps very restlessly, the other gets less access to the restorative early sleep stages that help memory, reaction time, and logical thinking.
Experts warn that regular sleep disruption often leads to more visits to the doctor. Chronic lack of sleep can decrease receptor sensitivity, reduce connectivity between brain regions, and even alter brain structure.
Incompatible Sleep Schedules
Differing day/night routines can also be a problem. What happens when one partner prefers to go to bed much later than the other? Or when one wants to watch TV or read in bed at midnight while the other needs silence and darkness?
Take these issues seriously. Work together to find a solution that suits both partners.
If partners decide to share a bed, go to bed at the same time. Establishing a shared routine takes more than a day or two. Communicate and be willing to compromise.
